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(Disclaimer: This is a 18+ post meant only for adult audiences. Reader discretion is advised because of explicit language both due to sexually explicit content and use of inflammatory language.)

(Artist: Jeanx)

It’s 2AM and you’ve just finished up a long session of Animal Crossing. The day’s over, and you know you really should be getting to sleep, but instead you pull your phone out. A little twitter before bed couldn’t hurt, right?   

That’s how it starts.   

A few hours later and it’s nearly 5AM; to make matters worse somewhere along the way you switched to your AD (NSFW) account. Beautiful bodies assault your eyes mercilessly, building the wanton frustration inside of you. You bring yourself to hook up with one of your mutuals in defeat. Doubt makes you somewhat reluctant, but you shrug it off. They like your posts on and off, that should be good enough, right?   

Turns out he’s in the same situation as you. Desperation does make the heart turn fonder after all. Slowly, the texts go from flirty to outright lewd. You can hardly contain the excitement to keep going as you prepare for the pawing session of your life.   

(Trigger Warning!)

And then you see their reply:

The dreaded one liner. You’d only ever heard of it before now. Hell, you knew the day would come when it finally caught you, but why now? Why when you needed so desperately to get off to some sweet-sweet yiffin‘?   

To help fight against one-liners I’ve outlined 5 ways to have better sex RPing with furries! So the next time someone does this to you, just send them this post and waste less time trying to drag the both of you through the ‘finish’ line. 

Establish Expectations

Listen to Your Partner

Be Relevant

Be Literate

Care


Establish Expectations

As you can see in the post above posts like these can give you a good idea of what you need to know. The age of the would-be RP partner, their preferences, and even restrictions are listed above. However, more often than not they don’t cover EVERY question one might have before a roll in the hay.   

For instance Micro/Macro play isn’t explicitly listed nor is something more common in the RP space like TF (transformation). So what then? First of all, mark the post to go back to it later on if the posts ticks all your boxes. What you’ll do then is put it to the side, and go back to browsing like normal until you have a collection of likely candidates.   

If, by the time you’ve come back around to it, it’s STILL your #1 pick despite the hindrances then it’s time to send the first message. 

Remember: The objective is CLARIFICATION! Be as concise as possible, but don’t be afraid to be fun and friendly. By establishing expectations you’re saving yourself from a headache early on. 

The worst they can say is no, and by keeping your options open for the night it’ll never be a major blow if/when they do. Don’t be afraid to ask other things while you’re at it, either.   

Such as:

  • Desired line length 
  • Estimated time the RP should take
  • Location or story settings
  • Refs or character descriptions 

Keep in mind that even if the things above are listed, the poster could have other ideas that otherwise wouldn’t fit into the theme of the post. Feel free to experiment when reaching out to other furs and most of all have fun.


Listen to Your Partner

If you’ve been to r/creepypms on reddit, then chances are you’re familiar with this kind of situation. Despite literally stating flat out “DON’T DO X” the offender ignores all the screaming red flags and dives in headfirst to the surprise of no one. Leading them to stardom ever encapsulated in the subreddit’s TOP posts.   

Now, I’m sure you got a good laugh out of this post as did I. “How does this fit into MY chats? I never do creepy shit like this, Rhyner.” Well, that’s the thing, dear reader it’s more than possible that you have in the past. Albeit unknowingly.   

Take for instance, you’re RPing with a partner that you’ve messed around with on and off a few times now. Things are getting hot and heavy faster than usual, but still feel routine. The sense of familiarity leads you to wrongly assume you know them better than when you’d first chatted. While some of that may be true you end up making a rushed decision in the heat of the moment.   

The expectations, based on previous encounters, have already been established at this point. But you rashly decide to go directly against them because you think you know better. When in reality you’re creating an awkward situation for the both of you, that the recipient has to either work around or ignore altogether. In the end you have to ask yourself: Is this really worth it? 

(Artist: strawberry628)

Furries, generally speaking, tend to try and avoid conflict when they can. It may take a while, or a string of continuous issues for one of your partners to speak up about what’s going on behind the screen. Things will feel off ways you can’t describe, or worse, steadily dissolve into nothingness.   

“Oh I remember that guy. Why don’t we ever RP anymore? He was pretty good.” A line of thought that I’d had myself.   

To save yourself from this unsettling demise there’s one key thing you need to remember while in that horny furry head space. ASK!   

If your line of thought is along the lines of: “I know they said they didn’t like this, but they like this other thing I did without asking before” or “I don’t know if they’d like this, but they’re already into this so they probably are.” STOP. THINK. ASK!  

Knowing expectations is a good place to start, but it doesn’t mean anything if you’re just going to ignore them anyway. Make sure to drop a (HEY CAN I STICK IT IN YOUR EAR???) before continuing.



Be Relevant

Twitter, Reddit, Telegram, Kik, and F-List have no shortage of RP accounts. Most of the furries across the different platforms are simply seeking the type of satisfaction they can’t find anywhere else. That being said, they’re searching for specific things. Specific content, people, kinks, and body types to satisfy their fantasies. It makes it all the more disappointing when the only person that replies to them on that given day has made it painfully obvious they either didn’t understand the post or didn’t read it.   

Just for this example let’s pretend you’re a submissive dog-boy looking for a master. After a while of searching you find what seems like the perfect post. They’re a male horse with relatively tame kinks, but damn his ref is gorgeous so it doesn’t even matter to you. Without going beyond the ref picture and listed kinks, you go ahead and send the first message. Luckily they’re online and respond timely. It’s time to get destroyed by this massive and studly horse. The ultimate score for a sub! But there’s one problem… That horse? He’s a sub too.   

It’s one thing to read a post, or read through a kink list and it’s another thing entirely to understand it. Devastation can strike even after you’ve gone over the expectations. Calling it an oversight would be an understatement. You don’t think to ask because you’re already certain that the person should act the way you perceive them to regardless of the reality of the situation.

(Artist: kuroodod)

To make the situation worse, you might buckle down on it. The RP could be going strong, them being submissive and you taking the dom role when all of a sudden the tables turn. You tell them to start making the decisions, which they most likely had no intention of doing in the first place.

Suffice to say that kind of stubbornness ended up wasting time for the both of you. There’s nothing quite like getting the attention of someone who is unwilling to compromise. Regardless of the damage they cause.

There are a few ways around this one with the first, most importantly, to double check the post you’re replying to, or the person’s profile if it’s listed there. “Dom, sub, top, bottom, switch, whatever,” should be the words you’re looking for either at the top or very bottom of the listing/profile.

Yeah I saw the pun, so what?  

Another way is to double check with the person you’re chatting with.  

Unless you’ve got an impressive and outstanding humiliation fetish you will want to avoid situations like this as often as possible. Even though it bites to get clapped back like this it’s better than getting a few paragraphs in and realizing that you made your mistake later rather than sooner.   

To increase your odds add something about the character/post that drew you to message the person. Something that made you want to shoot your shot whether it’s the design, the kinks, or promises of a delicious scenario. You never know, you might end up compromising and having a better night than you imagined when you first set off on your quest to get your rocks off.


Be Literate

(Artist: monoruka)

Be honest you knew this was coming. Everyone dreads the inevitable situation in which they’ve already committed to a RP, thinking the furry using conversational shorthand would try a little bit harder once you got into it with them. Oh, but how wrong you were…   

There’s no easy way to tell them, so you don’t. If anything you try to keep going with it. (At least they get to enjoy themselves, right?)   

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Meanwhile the furs on the other end of the spectrum for the situation think shorthand is no big deal. After all this is the internet and not everything has to be formal. To that I definitely agree! Not everything has to be written to such top notch quality that it belongs in a novel. Nor do you need to type out a massive paragraph, run it through grammarly, and scrutinize yourself over every misspelled word or mistake.  

Trust me, I know that mistakes happen. Hell, it happens pretty often to me too! Words get misspelled, punctuation gets lost, and sentences run on and on! It just comes with the territory.   

The issues begin when the person you’re writing to doesn’t understand what you’re saying or why you’re saying it. If you’re the top and he’s the bottom and you send him this as your first line: 

Man, isn’t this a winner? Now in normal circumstances shorthand like this isn’t an issue since, again, in casual conversation people don’t pay attention to p’s and q’s. However, when put into a situation where they need to write a lot, or what they think is a lot, and get it out relatively quickly it can lead to a mess like above.   

Oddly enough, length isn’t too much of an issue here. If anything it’s one of the highlights of this excerpt overall. Put into a more articulate hand the passage could be cleaned up some quite a bit to resemble some playful foreplay, and from the looks of it, penetration coming up sooner rather than later.   

By the time the person on the other end has read through this enough times to understand all the misspelled words, as well as their own response there’s a good chance their disinterest planted its seed. They furrow their brows in hopes the next reply is better, them putting a lot of effort into their own response back to the illiterate perpetrator. Until, eventually, the other person is forced to give up and open e621.   

So how do we fix this? 

(Artist: Hitmore)
  • Slow down. Sloooow way down. The other person is more than willing to wait for a well written piece of RP action. Trust me on this one. There’s nothing better than watching the little typing icon bob for what feels like an eternity and to be rewarded with a mouth watering couple of sentences that make you eager to reply! Stay away from shorthand as much as possible, and make your sentences look clean with commas and periods to break up the flow. Try reading it out loud to yourself it it helps, and ask yourself if it’s a message you’d be raring to get back to if you were the one on the other side of the screen. 
  • Give each sentence a purpose. Instead of jumping from one action to the next willynilly because you ‘think it sounds good’ try to focus on one thing at a time. Ultimately you’ll want to do only a handful of actions to give your partner enough to reply back to without overwhelming them with too many things. You want to rub their back? Great, spend an entire sentence on their back, then in the next sentence you can focus on going to a lower area and so on. Try not to repeat yourself, or use the same words to describe the same actions. Be creative! Which ties into the next bit of advice… 
  • Paint a picture. When you RP you’re essentially becoming a miniature romance novelist in a sense. The erotic desire that drives you also drives thousands of people to the romance genre every year. It’s not just the raw imagery either–it’s everything in between as well. Think about the scene you’re engaging in and picture it clearly in your mind, it’s up to you and your partner to take turns painting different parts of the scene to make the full picture. A few strokes in and you’re both on the bed, then your partner adds in their own idea and they’re tied up on said bed, awaiting to feel their Master’s touch. You build off of each other. Describe the feel of the room, what you’re feeling when they touch you, respond directly to their actions and how you long for them, what makes you desire them. Don’t just ‘shoves my cock in your hole’ elaborate on the action, adjust yourself near them and have to hold yourself back from acting on your impulse. Make a visual, make your vision known.

When you put all three together you get something like this: 

It may seem like a lot at first, but the end result is often easier to obtain than naught. You don’t need to be an English teacher to have fun!


Care

As you’ve noticed by now every point on this how to guide is brought back to this central point: care. You need to care in order to write a thoughtful reply that is well within expectations, doesn’t ignore your partner’s needs and is exactly what they’re looking for. Hopefully this will be the last push you need for it to all come together.   

Let’s go back to the original post:   

What was so wrong with it? Where did it go wrong, and how, exactly?    The first thing I bet you noticed is the difference in size of the posts comparatively.  

The size alone sets the expectations for the reply. At the time I was thinking I’d get, maybe, 3 or 4 lines back and maybe something playful in return. I set an intense scene made to hit the buttons expressed in conversation beforehand, and in seeing how those buttons affect him, do I derive the fun and pleasure from.   

Instead, the response received here is underwhelming majorly because there’s nothing to really propel the scene forward. The most he does is acknowledge a small part of the, rather, long post and in doing so make me feel ignored for the majority of it. Like it was a waste of time. The expectations were not met.   

To help boost the effectiveness of his response he could have added a few more lines of talking about what was going on. “Sure you’re calling me daddy, but so what?” Make what you’re saying matter if you’re not sure how else to respond. A hot question or tease can sweeten a sour hangup.   

I mentioned it briefly, but one of the main issues with this response is that he didn’t care enough to listen to what I said. If he cared enough he would have shown it by responding to more that was happening in my interaction with him. Because I was not listened to, I lost some willingness to keep going.   

A different way to boost his response would have been to add in some creative zing. Describing how it feels to be struck, how he feels being dominated, what he wishes I’d do. These are all things that would do wonders to make the scene exhilarating and fun to act out with someone in a RP.   

But hey, 2 out of 5 ain’t bad, right? It was perfectly literate though lacking, and was definitely relevant to my interests. Hopefully this helped you get a better understanding of how to get better at roleplaying and maximize your skills for fun in the future. 


Thank you for reading~

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